In my last post, I wrote about how not to listen. Today, I want to follow it up with the right way to listen. 

Empathic listening – don’t just listen to the words, listen to the expressions, body language, context as well. 

When we are told to put ourselves in others’ shoes, often we are still seeing the situation from our perspective only. Really putting ourselves in another person’s skin is to see through his/her eyes, coloured by his/her own personal experiences, ideologies and characteristics. And we can do this simply by paying attention to everything about a person during a conversation, not just the words. We don’t listen with the intent to change their opinion, but to actually empathise with where they are coming from. 

Let’s seek to first understand, then to be understood.