Earlier this year, I was going through a personal hard time. At the beginning, I couldn’t talk about it to anybody, even with the one friend who reached out to talk. Then a couple of months later, I was able to share with a couple of close friends but the conversation always left me feeling emotionally drained and hollow inside.

Recently, almost a year later, another friend reached out and this time, when I shared, I found it to be cathartic. I could see differences in the way I talked about me, my feelings and the events that transpired. I found myself being more honest than I had ever been before. As less as a few weeks ago, that would have been unthinkable.

This taught me a valuable lesson. The process of healing and growing takes time. As we progress on that journey, we are able to respond and handle things better. While there will definitely be some steps we can take to help along the healing process, we cannot fast forward it to the finish line. Because the journey is what determines where that line is.

I also learnt something else. I couldn’t have reached my current place without having that initial time to myself. Neither could I have done it without that first friend who reached out nor the others who have helped in their own way at different points. We each have a role to play as a friend or family member to help in a loved one’s hard times. What is more important to note is that we all have different roles to play, each of which helps that person and none of which is purposeless.

Recognizing this crucial fact is freeing and allows us to truly be there for the people we care about. Because who we are at that point in their lives is just one of many stepping stones along their journey.