During my initial days at our college dance club, I had a hard time because my dance skills were below average compared to the rest of the class and I was always getting singled out for my poor performance. The negative criticism eroded my confidence which in turn made me perform even worse. It became a downward spiral.

One day, a friend pulled me aside after one such session and offered to help me improve. At the time, hearing that felt like the height of humiliation. But I decided that I had nothing to lose by taking her up on the offer. For the subsequent session, we met earlier than the rest of the group and for the next hour, she pointed out my mistakes and corrected my movements.

We never did any more extra practice classes after that. But over the next month, something miraculous happened. I steadily got better. By the day of the performance, I was no longer afraid of being the disappointment of the show. By the time I exited the dance club, I had let go of the fear and started to enjoy the art form.

One extra practice did not magically make me a better dancer. So what changed?

Previously, my sinking confidence had started affecting my mental state while dancing which made me perform even worse than normal. This invited more comments which in turn lowered my self esteem more. It had become a vicious cycle, a chicken-and-egg problem.

What that extra practice did was make me stop running away from the facts and take control of my situation for the first time by putting in more effort. This in turn sowed a seed of belief in me that I must have gotten at least a little better. That small boost in confidence allowed me to shed some of the self-doubt and dance a little better. Seeing my dance improve raised my confidence another notch. It was another cycle, but a positive one this time.

This experience taught me two of my most valuable life lessons.

One, the balance between confidence and doubt can have a huge impact on the outcome of even our most sincere efforts.

Second, sometimes we get into a chicken-and-egg kind of mental situation that seems to have no end. In such times, we should grab onto one lifeline with the potential to pull us out of the cycle. When we break out of it once, we can ride on the coat tails of that experience and the same situation will become a positive reinforcing cycle from thereon.

All it takes is grabbing onto one opportunity with an open mind and a leap of faith.