I am not smart.

This was not a smart decision on my part.

Most of us recognize that the second style of thinking is more productive than the first. Why?

• The former attributes failure to the person whereas the latter talks about the action.
• Second, active vs passive voice.

When we associate failures with self, we are casting judgement on who we are and dashing any hopes for future improvement. Making the distinction between identity and behavior helps us instead focus on the reasons why the action went wrong and nudges us to address them.

Similarly, talking in passive voice over active helps to create distance between the failure and our identity, reducing the unproductive chatter in our minds.

Interestingly, this principle also applies when we replace I with You and failure with success.