Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, personal or professional. But how can we keep it from spiraling, find common ground and move forward?

One technique identified to help with conflict resolution is conceptual receptiveness. It is the “use of words and phrases to communicate to your counterpart that you are engaged with their point of view“. The key focus of this tool is to demonstrate our empathy and engagement in a way that is transparent to the other person.

Four specific techniques were identified to communicate conceptual receptiveness – HEAR.

• Hedging your claims with words like “perhaps”, “sometimes,”maybe”. This shifts the conversation from absolute statements to a dialogue.
• Emphasizing agreement by identifying specific points put forth by the other party that we agree with.
• Acknowledgement by reinstating the other person’s point of view. This makes them feel heard. It is only when we feel listened to that we open our minds to hear other view points.
• Reframing with positive statements. For example, instead of saying “I hate it when people have double standards”, we say “It feels good when we treat others in the same way that we expect to be treated”.

As I was reading and understanding this technique, I realized that I have been unknowingly following some of these points in navigating my professional sphere but I have often fallen short in personal relationships. The reason is ironical. As more time passes, we stop listening and start dictating because we think we already know our close family and friends fully.

Drives home the fact that any technique is useless if we don’t practice it consistently with self-awareness and retrospection.