When we feel ashamed or embarrassed on behalf of a loved one, we usually attribute it to reasons like morals and societal norms. This is also convenient sometimes as it allows us to absolve ourselves of accountability for our subsequent actions.

In reality, this behavior points to our own narrow beliefs and prejudices. A son cannot feel embarrassed for his parents’ middle class status in a five star wedding unless he believes that status defines who he is. Neither can a father feel upset with his daughter for choosing to study further after reaching “marriageable age” if he values her self reliance first.

We may not be able to dictate the perception of society but we can sure shape it by being one of the torch bearers of change. But what it needs first is broadening our own perspectives. When we do that, we automatically acquire the strength to stand alongside the people we love in the face of any and all societal coercion.