Sometimes the people we value hurt us unintentionally due to issues they have that are unrelated to us. Despite that fact, we still let the negative feelings fester. Why?

Could be two possible reasons.

One, we are not able to empathize with their life experiences which has shaped them into who they are today.

Two, even when we do empathize we can’t accept the fact that they did not put our feelings above their issues.

At such times, a technique that I find to be helpful is to mentally imagine removing myself from the equation. Like a math formula. Once I can visualize that I was not a variable at all, it becomes easier to dissolve my hurt and instead focus on what the other person is going through and the part I can play in their upliftment.