It is easy to dismiss family (however we define it) when living our routine daily lives. But the true value of the people closest to us is felt during turbulent times. When things around us are spinning out of control, they serve as our anchor – a safe haven we can hold on to as we go through the highs and lows in the roller coaster ride that is life.

That’s when we can truly appreciate the value of unconditional love.

Who you choose to be in your innermost circle matters. It has a fundamental impact on everything about you.

How you say no to someone says significantly more about you than how you say yes.

Whenever a plan is proposed by management or a team member, we are eager to immediately dive in and hash out each of the points. We will have a lot of questions to ask and trade-offs to debate.

However, I have found that the first priority should be to take a step back, see the bigger picture and question the roots – premise, purpose, assumptions.

Identify the step zero. It will have the biggest impact on which direction the plan takes and where it leads us.

There are innumerable ways of showing support for a family member or friend going through some emotional turmoil, each one different from the other.

• Holding her hand while she processes her emotions
• Infusing some joy and lightness into her day through humor
• Simply talking to draw her out of her dark mood
• Listening in silence
• Calling and texting
• Sharing inane or inspiring stories
• ….
• ….

No one way is better than the other. Neither does any of them have an absolute surety of working always. While there is no universal rule book, I have found that two key things serve well to guide me during such attempts.

• Putting their feelings and needs above ours. This particular moment is about offering them support, not about getting validated or acknowledged for our actions.
• Listening and responding to their verbal and non-verbal cues. Even when we get off to a rocky start, if we keenly observe, we will learn what works and doesn’t work over time.

Ultimately, if we can brighten their day or lessen the darkness by just a little bit, it is a task well done.

I was watching this video of New Zealand Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, addressing the UN General Assembly. What is striking about her speech is what she emphasises on – empathy, sense of justice and most importantly, kindness.

If I could distill it down to one concept we are pursuing in New Zealand, it is simple and it is this: kindness

That statement coming from a world leader at the United Nations is powerful. It underscores the importance of these ideals unequivocally in a way that little else can. It got me thinking about a parallel universe which was rooted in morality instead of materialism.

What would the world look like if kindness was our currency?

We live in a much more complicated world today compared to just a decade ago. Most of the issues we face globally and in our daily lives are multi-faceted with several layers of nuances, the least of which is the difficulty in finding one-size-fits-all solutions. While some issues are getting a clear direction for the way forward in terms of majority support, there are a lot more which don’t yet have that. And it is highly probable that they may not gain the requisite clarity within our lifetimes.

Given such discordant and uncertain times, I have personally continuously struggled with ensuring that I am doing the right thing and moving in the best direction for the future. This is an exercise to identify the core principles that have helped me so far.

• Strong moral compass. This is the anchor which affects our actions the most. It is important to develop a strong conscience and use it as a litmus test for everything we do.
• An open mind. We are going to get a few (or a lot) things wrong, it is inevitable. In order to battle our preconceived notions and biases we need to be willing to listen to opposing viewpoints and be open to change.
• Empathy. I cannot stress the importance of this trait enough. There is no better equivalent which can bring all of us together. Sitting on a moral high horse will not help us to make this world better, it only makes us more intolerant. The first step to making others understand our ideals is to understand the reasons for theirs.
• Gratitude. Being conscious of our advantages and feeling thankful for them can humble us.
• Hope. The force that makes us believe in and work towards a better tomorrow. Drives us to be better people.

Whenever I am really upset, I find having a good cry very healthy for my mental well-being. It is like the tears come with not just an emotional release, but a psychological one as well. It clears up my mind to focus on the next plan of action.

Like laughter, crying can also be the best medicine, for the mind.

The first step to exercising better self-control is studying how you fail.

I was under the impression that true friends are those who don’t cast you aside when things are hard. That is not the right bar.

Real friends are those who acknowledge your hardships; reach out and support you through them. They may do this in a number of ways: bolster your spirits; console and comfort you; pull you up when you are down; simply sit beside you. They may do just one of these or all of them. That is not important.

What matters is that they make you feel less alone, more loved.