Today was one of those days when I could not think of any concrete idea to blog about. And my sister suggested to write on just that.

Whenever we start any new task, our commitment is at the highest point. But over time, the passion wavers, creativity dwindles and other things in life start to compete for time. The only thing that pushes us through those times is discipline.

In the words of Eliud Kipchoge, the marathon world record holder

Only the disciplined ones in life are free. If you are undisciplined, you are a slave to your moods and your passions

Love is selfless, a wave of unadulterated positive emotion we feel from the bottom of our hearts for someone. If love is pure, how does it become suffocating sometimes?

While love is enough to create a bond, it is not sufficient to maintain that cord because affection doesn’t exist on its own. A relationship is affected by an amalgamation of other feelings like anger, gratitude, pride, self-respect, etc. Along side them come personal opinions, beliefs and such which convolute the threads of a relationship even further.

We cannot live our lives without all these other emotions and ideologies because, together, they make us who we are. But it is important that we recognise which feelings and/or beliefs are dictating our actions with loved ones. Only then can we put in personal checks and balances. Otherwise, too often, we hide behind the cover of love to make ourselves feel better about controlling the lives of people we care and to get them to act as we see fit.

Love is pure and unconditional, so let’s not wield it as a weapon against the very people we want to protect.

The worst kind of loneliness is when you are surrounded by people but still feel alone. It is worse than being on your own. It is shocking and sad how often we don’t notice it in a friend, acquaintance or even a loved one.

Look at the people around you, really look.

See past the facade.

Ask sincere heartfelt questions instead of making small talk.

Be vulnerable and create a safe space for others to be vulnerable with you.

Let’s make some real connections in life. It requires consistent conscious effort that can go very far in making someone feel that they belong.

We are grappling with daily news of deaths by the thousands. Keeping hope and optimism alive during these hard times demands a lot from us. But then I come across efforts like John Krasinski’s Some Good News and so many more like that around the world. Inspiring stories are pouring in from all over the globe as the world is uniting against a common enemy.

Our character is put to the true test when we are faced with a hard situation, be it a personal tragedy or a global pandemic. These times bring out both the best and the worst of humanity. It is up to us to decide.

Judge people by their actions, not their words.

This is something that I have become increasingly aware of in recent times. Words have the power to soothe and make us feel good in the moment. That is powerful. And so needs to be wielded with care.

But when we are on the receiving end of it, we need to recognise that words are just words without actions to back them up. And because words appease us immediately, it is easy to judge someone based on what he (she) says or doesn’t say. However the true measure of a person and his influence in our lives is seen by his actions. This is often easy to ignore, especially when someone is not very communicative or doesn’t say what we want to hear.

A person who disagrees with us but still proactively or silently supports through the hard times is far more valuable than someone who says the right words but stands on the sidelines. Actions speak louder and truer than words.

What would you do if this were your last day to live?

This is a very commonly asked question to make us let go of our fears and seize the day. Now, let me ask another question.

What would you do if you knew you were going to die 5 years from now?

Did your answer change? How did it differ?

The first situation is restrictive in terms of time, so most of us will concentrate on doing things that make us happy now. We will probably do whatever we want because we don’t have to live with the consequences of our actions tomorrow.

The second scenario is harder. While we know that we have only 5 years left, we still have to live each of those days. We will think of longer term goals, not just things that make us happy in the moment.

And that is the difference between happiness and meaning. We are all constantly searching for a purpose in life, something to work towards, something bigger than ourselves and maybe, even our own existence. This is what gets us out of our beds every day, our biggest long-term motivation. I would recommend Victor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning to better understand the value of meaning for humans.

It is easy to live through each day just doing things that give us instant gratification. But they won’t dispel the hollow feeling that we experience in our unguarded moments. Happiness makes us feel good in the present but we need to find our meaning in life for the long haul.

Humans are social creatures. We are constantly looking for groups to belong to, call as our own, feel connected with. And this is essential because without social groups – be it family, friends or colleagues – life would be very lonely and meaningless.

But the important question we have to ask ourselves is – at what cost?

The answer to this question will vary from person to person depending on the needs, wants and life experiences of each. But I believe there is one fundamental thing that should definitely not be up for negotiation. And that is fitting in with ourselves.

It is important that I feel comfortable with the person I am now and the person I am becoming as life goes on. Because while we have to move with others a lot, we live with ourselves 100% of our lifetime. And we need to like and love that person first, before anybody else does.

Our definition of self will keep evolving with every day, every new person we meet and every experience we live through. And striking the right balance between our current and our future potential self is an ongoing process. We will not get it right, a lot. But then a little voice inside will speak up when we change against our nature. And that should always be our anchor.