In his well-renowned book, ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’, Stephen Covey says one of the most profound statements I have read.

Between stimulus and response, you have the freedom to choose

The essence of the line is that we often cannot control our circumstances or the consequences of our actions, but the one freedom we do have is to choose how we respond to these hands dealt by life.

This might seem like just another way to say “Think Positive”, but it is much more than that. Even when you know that a person has wronged you and expressing righteous anger only seems fair (and might be validated by others as well), the (re)action we exhibit is completely in our hands. So, if the action hurts anyone, including ourselves, a portion of the blame always resides with us.

While I have inherently held myself accountable for most of my actions, acknowledging this fact has been liberating. I have come to realize that I am able to apply this to every single situation in my life, even the small insignificant arguments. It can get frustrating to constantly hold yourself responsible for your reactions, but doing it is helping me develop more self-control, maintain smoother relationships and be more effective.

I still have a long way to go before I can make this thinking second-nature, but the end result will be worth all the effort it takes.