Stephen Covey proposes the concept of an emotional bank account to understand the trust quotient in a relationship. It is quite simple. In any relationship, every time you do something of value to the other person, you make a deposit and any perceived negative action results in a withdrawal. If the account balance is high, it compensates for any mistakes you make. If it is already running low, further slips will weaken the bond.

When I evaluated my important relationships on the background of this idea, I could clearly identify the ones with high and low account values and how my actions (and inactions) have been affecting this balance. While reflecting, there were two significant things I realized.

First, the strongest relationships are those which have been nurtured with valuable and timely deposits. These need not be grand gestures, just simple ones like continually showing up or lending a listening ear. These deposits become especially important in relationships with people we interact with on a regular basis.

Second, a withdrawal is not measured by the causal action’s importance to us. Rather, it depends on the value it holds to the other person.

So, evaluate your emotional bank accounts. Make frequent, valuable deposits. Learn what he/she perceives as a withdrawal and by how much. Acting on this understanding will ensure that the relationship flourishes.