There are innumerable ways of showing support for a family member or friend going through some emotional turmoil, each one different from the other.

• Holding her hand while she processes her emotions
• Infusing some joy and lightness into her day through humor
• Simply talking to draw her out of her dark mood
• Listening in silence
• Calling and texting
• Sharing inane or inspiring stories
• ….
• ….

No one way is better than the other. Neither does any of them have an absolute surety of working always. While there is no universal rule book, I have found that two key things serve well to guide me during such attempts.

• Putting their feelings and needs above ours. This particular moment is about offering them support, not about getting validated or acknowledged for our actions.
• Listening and responding to their verbal and non-verbal cues. Even when we get off to a rocky start, if we keenly observe, we will learn what works and doesn’t work over time.

Ultimately, if we can brighten their day or lessen the darkness by just a little bit, it is a task well done.